quick post (because i’m still nanowrimo-ing): On Peace and Powerlessness

I’m not feeling as peaceful as I’d like to.

Things that help me feel peaceful include deep breathing, yoga, swimming, beach walks, gardening and getting enough sleep. Also, when I feel connected to people I love (my son, G, family, friends) then I feel a measure of peace.

I’m not feeling too peaceful at the moment because there is something that someone close to me does to someone else close to me and it freaks me out. I can’t say anything because that makes things worse for the person concerned. One of these moments happened last night and it made me feel sick but I had to bite my tongue and remove myself physically from the room so that I didn’t get involved.

I am trying to figure out the healthy way to respond to this situation when it arises but so far I don’t know. It makes me feel incredible amounts of anger and also impotence and indeed also failure. It may not be aimed at me but it affects people I love and people I want to protect.

This is all very cryptic but for now that’s all I can really say. If it were any two other people I’d probably be able to leave them to work it out on their own. But these two people – I fear there is damage being done and I am helpless to do anything and unsure what the RIGHT thing would be. Even if I was brave enough.

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This entry was posted in anxiety, Family, love, Motherhood, Silence and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to quick post (because i’m still nanowrimo-ing): On Peace and Powerlessness

  1. I don’t know you, you were on my tag surfing. Your post, as cryptic as it was, left me concerned.

    Sometimes the hardest thing to do is step back and not say anything. However, if safety is involved, maybe a moment to stop and think then prioritize your thoughts is in order.

    Family, Motherhood, Silence, Anxiety…. if a child is involved, and damage is being done, that child needs someone to stand up for them. I came from a life of abuse.. I watched a lot of family .. turn a blind eye.

  2. karin says:

    you’ll probably get a lot of advice, and although im not sure what its about, i leave you with this. i ALWAYS feel peaceful after throwing something. but that’s just me.

    stay strong, the right path will come to you, and you’ll know what to do when the time is right, trust yourself and your instincts.

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